


Hold Me Tight and Don't let Go

by stateofevans



Category: Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Boyfriends, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Couch Cuddles, Domestic Boyfriends, Fluff, Hurt Bucky Barnes, M/M, Nightmares, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19771423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stateofevans/pseuds/stateofevans
Summary: Bucky has a nightmare, Johnny's there to help him get through it.





	Hold Me Tight and Don't let Go

**Author's Note:**

> tw:   
> torture during the dream and Bucky mentions being brainwashed.

_ “Mission report, Soldat.” Bucky recognized those words. Those were designated for HYDRA operatives. Bucky was confused, He was supposed to be saved from Pierce’s hands. Zemo barely had control of the Soldier in the first place. How did he get back into HYDRA’s clutches.  _

_ “No,” Bucky mumb;ed. He was just with Johnny, not even fifteen minutes ago. They had a nice night, Johnny had made Bucky his favorite pasta dish. They had danced in Johnny’s living room. How did HYDRA find him?  _

_ “Wake him up.” Bucky heard the hum of the wires and he felt the excruciating pain of electrocution. Bucky screamed, but the pain just got worse with each scream, Rumlow raising the volts of energy at each scream.  _

_ As the electricity stopped, Bucky could open his eyes, looking around at everyone. Every single person who had control over the Winter Soldier over the years were watching as Bucky suffered through the torture. Was this a test for him?  _

_ “Mission report, Soldat. Did you kill Jonathan Storm? You killed him nice and slow as I asked, didn’t you? Let him suffer and know that it was you who killed him.” Bucky felt his stomach drop. He killed Johnny?  _

_ “W-Why?” _

_ “Wipe him.”  _

_ “No!’ Bucky started to struggle against the restraints. He didn’t want to forget anything. He wanted to remember all the good things he had in his life. He wanted to remember his first date with Johnny at the top of the Chrysler Building, just watching the busy lives of the New Yorkers far below. He wanted to remember their first kiss, how nervous they both were, but they both seemed to be made for each other. He wanted to remember Johnny laughing at Bucky at how bad Bucky was at ice skating in Rockefeller, but he never let Bucky hit the cold ice. He wanted to remember Johnny, the best person he ever had the pleasure the let in his life. “Please don’t. I’ll listen. I’ll do what you want. Just, don’t take him completely from me. I don’t want it.” Brock Rumlow just smirked, moving towards Bucky, pushing Bucky’s chest so he’d fall into the chair. Bucky gave up, sagging against the back of it. He knew he’d never get out of the restraints. They were made to withhold Bucky’s strength.  _

_ “It was sweet, Soldier, you and Storm. Honestly, though, how long did you think it would last? No one could love a fucked up thing like you.” Bucky closed his eyes, trying to ignore how hurt that got him. It wasn’t true. Johnny loved Bucky. He told Bucky as much as Bucky asked. “Why would Johnny Storm love a stupid little pet like you when he could have anyone he wanted. You were just fucking easy and compliant, Soldier. Storm just wanted to use you and he did.”  _

_ Bucky felt the headpiece of the chair touch his forehead, Rumlow backing up. Bucky’s teeth were going to break, Rumlow hadn’t given Bucky the mouthpiece. Bucky frantically fought now, hearing the machine power up.  _

_ “Johnny! No! Please, don’t do it! Johnny!” Bucky closed his eyes, keeping Johnny’s smile in his mind, hoping it wouldn’t wipe from his memory.  _

_~~_ _  
_ Bucky woke with a start, a sob leaving his mouth. The bathroom door opened, Bucky’s boyfriend walking out in just gym shorts, a towel in hand. Bucky all but lept out of the bed and into Johnny’s arms. 

“Woah, Sunshine, I just went to shower.” Bucky just sobbed into the crook of Johnny’s neck. “Bucky, are you okay?” 

“You’re alive.”

“Pretty sure, yeah. I stumbled a bit in the shower, but I survived.” Bucky smiled weakly, just gripping Johnny tighter. “Okay, you’re scaring me and strangling me. What happened?”

“They told me I killed you.” Johnny seemed to understand that then, one arm wrapping around Bucky, pulling the super soldier closer if possible, his other hand going to Bucky’s hair, gently carding through it. 

“You didn’t hurt a hair on my head, Sunshine. Let’s go sit down and then you can tell me the whole nightmare, yeah?” Bucky nodded, but did move, Johnny kissing his forehead. “Gotta separate to get to the bed. 

“Keep holding my hand.”

“Always, Sunshine.” They separated, Johnny immediately grabbing both Bucky’s hands in his, leading his super soldier boyfriend to their shared bed. Bucky made himself comfortable on Johnny’s lap, his arms wrapping around his waist as Bucky put his head back into the crook of Johnny’s neck. 

“Please don’t leave me alone, I don’t know if I c-can survive that.” Johnny felt his heart break as Bucky pleaded with him, his arms tightly wrapping around the soldier. 

“Never. You’re my world, you know that. I couldn’t leave you even if I wanted to, which I don’t. I’ll never want to leave you, James Barnes, you better know that by now.” Bucky just let out a sob. “Sunshine, you gotta let me in.”

“T-They told me I k-killed you and I d-didn’t even r-remember doing it.” Johnny kissed Bucky’s forehead gently, one of his hands rubbing Bucky’s back as his other hand soothed Bucky by carding through his hair. 

“You didn’t remember because I’m still alive. Promise you, Bucky, I’m still in one piece.” Johnny took Bucky’s hand, the flesh one, and held it to Johnny’s heart. Bucky could feel it’s steady beat. They sat in silence, Johnny not wanting to push Bucky and Bucky relishing in the fact that Johnny was in fact still alive. 

“They electrocuted me because I couldn’t remember. They had to d-describe how I killed you. I don’t want to kill anyone. R-Rumlow was ordered to wipe me. I didn’t want them to, I swear! They were just stronger than me! I p-promise I didn’t w-want it! A-and Rumlow told me t-that you d-didn’t love me b-because I’m b-broken.” Johnny wanted to take all of Bucky’s insecurities and throw them into the middle of the ocean, but he knew that they were going to stay with Bucky for the rest of his life probably. 

“James Buchanan Barnes, you know damn well that isn’t true. I’ve said it before, you’re my whole world. Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you, I’ll love you until my last breath, maybe even after. You know that, right? Do I have to tell you every fifteen minutes?”

“It wouldn’t hurt.” Bucky smiled slightly, hugging Johnny tightly. 

“I love you, Bucky Barnes, don’t you forget that.”

“I love you too.” Bucky kissed the side of Johnny’s neck, breathing evening out. Johnny kept his hand in Bucky’s hair, mindless playing with the strands as his other hand runs up and down on Bucky’s back. 

“Try to sleep, Sunshine, I’ll be here when you wake up?”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.” Bucky pulled away from Johnny’s neck to quickly kiss his boyfriend’s lips, going back to his previous position. “I wish I could take all the bad memories away from you, but I’ll try my damn best to make good memories to replace all the bad ones. You deserve the best, Bucky Barnes, don’t you ever forget that.” 

~~

They stayed in that position, Bucky curled into Johnny, Johnny’s arms wrapped around his boyfriends body, for hours. Johnny woke up with a sore back, but hearing that Bucky slept the best he ever slept was worth the pain. 


End file.
